Now, I bet you’ve entertained the idea of surprising your partner with an erotic massage…except you didn’t know where to start. Giving one isn’t easy, that’s for sure. It’s hard to know which steps to follow, what and what not to do, where to give one and what materials to use. As a practice, massage is ideal for carrying out at home with very few resources, but you must be clear about a number of things:
It’s pretty much a given that your lover won’t be expecting the surprise you’ve planned for him. To help him take the experience seriously, make sure you set up the space you want to use in advance. My advice: use an intimate place that’s not too big, like the bedroom. And, above all, make sure it’s relaxing. To avoid interruptions, put your phone on silent.
If you can, dim the lights or find some candles to illuminate the room a little. Place a towel or cloth on the bed to avoid stains and switch on some music. There are various playlists on Spotify you can use, such as this one. Look for slow rhythms that will allow your partner to disconnect. In that sense, it’s best to go for instrumental melodies.
The aim of erotic massage is to stimulate your partner, so you don’t need to go to extreme lengths to give him some other form of fancy massage. Avoid placing stress on his body – you might touch a sensitive area or cause him pain. Keep in mind that this massage should be light and gentle.
This is key in order to give a good massage. You could use a moisturiser, but this will absorb too quickly and won’t be as much fun. Another option: coconut oil. Melt it in your hands and apply. That being said, moisturiser is inedible and coconut oil isn’t particularly nice to lick…
For this type of play, your best bet is a massage oil, such as one from the Light my fire range, which are available in various flavours (chocolate, strawberry and caramel). The oils have a warming effect that will excite your lover to an even greater extent. Things will be better still if you combine your caresses with licks or gentle nibbles.
You can also use Melt my heart massage candles, in chocolate strawberry and caramel. As well as flooding the room with an incredible aroma, they have an intense moisturising effect and don’t contain any chemicals.
Personally, I really like the 2 in 1 Aphrodisia gel which, although inedible, provides an aphrodisiac scent and improves lubrication (which will be useful for points 8 and 9).
The difference between foreplay and erotic massage can be found here. His genitals are not the focal point, so you’ll start by massaging other areas such as his back or neck. Work your way down his body, discovering his sensitive spots and erogenous zones. Go with what you know: what does he like? which parts of his body does he like to be touched? And don’t forget to wait for his reactions to find out more…
There’s no need to be hasty. Have patience. Set aside time for each part of his body and save his genitals for last. That way, you’ll gradually increase the excitement and it will feel so much more pleasurable when he reaches orgasm.
Our senses are fundamentally important in sex. When you shut down one or several of them, the others are heightened. As such, if you cover his eyes with a blindfold, his hearing will become much more acute. Another option would be to give him some headphones and play some music that excites him. You can also use edible massage oils to stimulate his sense of taste and smell; put a little on your lips and kiss him. As for touch, read point 7!
Closely related to the previous point and with the aim of tantalising his senses, have a good rummage around the house and find some textures you can alternate with your caresses. You could use a sisal exfoliating glove, something metallic, a silk scarf or a feather, a little hot candle wax or an ice cube. The latter is usually a popular choice and never fails to increase arousal.
You’re in control now. You decide when to leave your gentle caresses behind in favour of a more intense massage. Or when it’s time o stimulate his erogenous zones more enthusiastically. Take as long as you want, but always watch out for your partner’s responses.
Do you think it’s about that time? Ok, stop your caresses and slowly start stimulating him with your hand. Gradually increase the speed and intensity until you notice your lover is approaching orgasm. Remember that you’re the one in control…it’s down to you!
You’ve spent time creating the perfect atmosphere, delighting your partner with caresses and giving him one of the best experiences of his life, so you must be up to the mark. Perhaps his orgasm was so intense that he needs to relax for a bit. Lie down next to him and try to get some feedback on how to make it even better next time around.
After all, massage is like everything else: practice makes perfect. You might make a few mistakes the first time or forget some of the dos and don’ts, but always trust your instinct. Good luck…and enjoy your massage!
Thais Duthie was born Barcelona in the 1990s. As a little girl she loved playing Doctors and Nurses, and this continues to be one of her favourite past times. Duthie grew up surrounded by books and over time she found her calling in literature, which is what she does now. In her spare time she likes to write about sex for different media outlets, such as MíraLES, Hay una lesbiana en mi sopa and El Món. She loves getting lost in faraway places, discovering new things and noticing the small details.Follow her: Facebook Twitter Instagram