Last weekend Bijoux Indiscrets had the opportunity to participate in the acclaimed Festival Erostreet 2018 in Barcelona. In it several personalities of the world of sexology met, Lydia Parrilla was one of them, responsible for carrying one of the erotic massage workshops. Lydia has told us and given the best advice on how to perform an erotic massage for your partner.
So, what actually is an erotic massage? Have you ever tried giving one to your partner only to find it didn’t quite go to plan? Well, today we’re going to give you a few tips to ensure your erotic massage is the real deal.
First of all, I’d like to clarify what actually constitutes an erotic massage. More often than not, we confuse the term due to being bombarded with endless “erotic massage” adverts in the street, where they sell erotic massage as a massage that eventually culminates in manual stimulation, or what’s commonly referred to as a “happy ending”. However, that is not an erotic massage. An erotic massage need not end in masturbation or any other kind of sexual practice. Rather, it is a way to encourage us to reconnect with our bodies, to open ourselves up to communication, relaxation and eroticism, always following a concept that I love so much: fullness.
At the workshops I’ve been giving over a number of years for Sex Academy Barcelona and Erostreet Festival, I always strive to help my students understand the need to learn to enjoy their bodies in full, to experience pleasure from touching any part of their skin (as well as their genitals) since, due to the sexualised society in which we live, we no longer enjoy many of the other pleasures we seem to be forgetting about or simply leaving behind.
Now, that doesn’t mean we can’t be aroused after a good erotic massage – in fact, this often occurs as it serves as means for us to awaken our sensuality through our senses, which we are going to try to rouse as much as possible for our maximum enjoyment, following a few little tips that I’ll highlight below:
Firstly, find an intimate space, away from any external distractions. Make sure you’re on a comfortable surface. This will help you to relax.
The lights should be dim. To achieve this effect, you can use massage candles such as the ‘Melt My Heart‘ range by Bijoux Indiscrets. As well as providing the perfect lighting, they come in different fragrances which will make your encounter even more special.
Note the temperature – if you are too hot or too cold, your senses will lie elsewhere, and that is not what we want to achieve. Smell is another important aspect for getting the atmosphere right and, as I mentioned before, you can use your favourite scented massage candles and match them with the corresponding Bijoux Indiscrets ‘Light My Fire’ massage oil. It’s always important to agree on a fragrance that you both enjoy.
Sound-wise…slow, sensual background music on low can create a more erotic atmosphere.
When it comes to starting the massage, I advise taking great care with your partner in order to avoid hurting them. Unless you are a professional, you should never touch the spine as it is a very sensitive area.
I recommend slow, circular movements – be as gentle as possible. This will make the massage more sensual. And if you’ve got some background music and can coordinate your caresses with the beat, fantastic!
And finally…nothing is off-limits, as long as you’re both in agreement. As I said at the beginning, not all erotic massages have to reach climax. Respect your body and that of your partner.
Bio Lydia Parrilla Muñoz
With a Psychology degree from the University of Jaén, Lydia Parrilla Muñoz has a Master’s in Sex
and Couples Therapy from the Al-Andalus Institute of Sexology (Granada) as well as several other
Over the course of her professional career, she has worked as a couples counsellor and family
mediator, as well as in addiction treatment.
Parrilla currently offers sex and couples counselling and collaborates with Sex Academy Barcelona
and Erostreet Festival, providing various workshops on sexuality. In addition to this, she also writes
for L’Erotheque, a magazine specialising in sexuality.